October Address 2008

The thing we have to remember about so many people who once crossed us is that they are now typically Has-beens, Nobodies and Never-Weres. If they were lucky, that is: most of the rabbit-brained scum who tangle with us on the road of life don’t even get that far. I am continually struck by how many people are prime losers in this life – and how few of them actually know it. Stripped bare before Eternity, what are most people, anyway? A soggy bag of self-entitled and self-proclaimed pus, leaking inane opinions culled from the gutter over everyone they meet. The great problem with the modern world is this: it is founded on a concept of mass democracy that is, in essence, nonsense. It is nonsensical because people are not equal in any respect: intellectually, socially, politically or economically. And yet – every single day of the worthless lives from earliest childhood – the most idiotic, repulsive poltroons are bombarded with media messages telling them they are entitled to vast wealth, yachts in the Caribbean and celebrity lifestyles. This creates a tension between their real selves and their expectations. One major result of this internal conflict is a core of black rage and disappointment that is continually directed at other, worthier people as cruel insults and other abusive behaviours. These poisoned maggots loathe the decent, the hardworking and well-adjusted. It becomes their life’s work to ruin the lives of their betters.

Ultimately, however, these snarling, gap-toothed baboons find their natural station in life – as Has-Beens, Nobodies and Never-Weres. Just check the trash on Facebook and MySpace out: 45 year old DJs and Rock Stars just waiting to be ‘Saved’ by their next demo-tape, their next never-to-be-heard ‘album’; divorced fellows, paying for kids they never see, slumped in cheap apartments with a 6-pack of Colt 45 (or some other crappy beer); big, fat women with low IQs flipping burgers in McDonald’s. This is where these filth usually end up – in Loserdom. Those are the Nobodies and never-Weres. In some cases, a very, very small number I hasten to add – they may actually achieve something in their miserable lives. Unfortunately for them, their intrinsic worthlessness means that all these glittering prizes will be taken from them in due course. There is one fellow who epitomizes this: once, he owned a mansion on a hill; once, he oozed charisma; once, he was mighty. He trod the heartlands of the western world, a playboy with guitar in hand, from Virginia to Alaska. Consider him now: his mansion is gone; he sells his body to withered females for a paltry sum; his tunes are ignored, unloved, even derided. The future holds nothing for him; aye, nothing and less than nothing. The years will turn: his eyes will dim as his flesh withers and his mind fades. He will perish, the glories of his vanished youth lost forever; aye, even now his glory days are recalled by few.

Although these vile creatures are often brought low by Mistress Fortuna, Hex-me.co.uk is here to put the icing on the cake of their discomfiture. We finish the job, as it were: we drag these Has-Beens, Nobodies and Never-Weres into the darkest depths of despair with our timely curses, our magnificent Hexes. No one is safe from us: no one can escape our dark justice.

This month, our Hexers are Kelly Rivers, Puspa Kshatriya and Angelo Alvarez. The team are electric, desperate to make the most of the mystic Summer Solstice in their spells and workings! Expect some awesome Hexes, my friends!

When one Moon has passed, we will speak again...

October 2007 Address

Halloween is upon us again. Worzel Gummidge is standing in the fields, affrighting the crows. Strangely, though, no crow community has ever been made extinct by human activity. Indeed, ornithologists claim that crows are as superior to other birds in terms of intellect as humans are to other primates. Now, I believe that users of hex-me.com are as superior to normal people as humans are to other primates. Hippies are scum; recently, some long-haired jackanapes called across the road to me, “Spare a dime, fellow human being… spare a dime, fellow child of light.”

Now, what made this hirsute scoundrel believe I was a fellow-traveler of his? What made him think that an insolent, idle, moronic Prole could in any sense compare with the master of hex-me.com? One of the greatest errors of modern Western thought is in assuming the psychic equality of mankind. All people are not equal at all: only a small minority is self-aware, creative, sensitive and intelligent: the broad masses are scum.

Aye, shadows are whispering, mists gather, and midnights stay. This is Halloween: the mystic time of year when the fabric between the worlds stretches thin, that we might see beyond.

Only at the weekend I met up with Damien Crowley (on a flying visit to the States), Angelo Alvarez and Kelly Rivers. It was a difficult, but brilliant meeting. I had to keep everything (and everyone) together - difficult indeed. Nonetheless, despite the language barriers, we agreed a working concordance for Halloween hexing. Kelly will take matters of love (and hate): Angelo issues of work and friendship; me, all other issues. And so, at this all important hour, all bases will be covered.

Happy hexing!

Pater Theodorus