October Address

Many magics,

The month of October was a productive month. We rediscovered ancient arts in Blackpool. Who would have thought that a seasonal seaside town would hold so much intrigue? We obtained ancient scrolls from a Temple of Poseidon adept and set these to work in your favour.

For this month, we have other interesting items of which I will now inform you. First, we reiterate that it is not wise to attempt to put a curse someone on your own. We mention this because it is so easy to be drawn in by the charlatans who tell you that magic is easy and there is nothing to worry about when trying out their dangerous concoctions. This is NOT the case. So take heed. Second, we are building a new temple. Third, we wish to inform you of yet another magnificent service that we have just launched, the Debrief Blaster (see below). It is now available.

1) How do I put a curse on someone?

My simple advice is not to do it yourself. It is best to let people who are more adept do it for you. We can do it for you. I do not say this to profiteer. I say it for your own safety. It is possible that your attempts could backfire. Please do not try it at home; it isn’t clever. The consequences of this have been discussed for centuries elsewhere. So I will not thrash out those here. The simple solution is to use the following link: Put a curse on someone

2) Building a new temple

Today, we have taken measures for the erection of our new temple. It is rest upon our stout courtyard, on hexagonal slabs. We discern these will act as batteries, with harnessed vigour drawn from the Sun itself. It will bring together all four elements and fortify future requests. However, this is not needed at present, as we still possess the clout to summon Poseidon and act in the interests of fellow hexers.

3) Debrief blaster

The aim of a debrief blaster is to remove particular harmful effects from your socialization that have caused you misery. Despite the emphasis of so-called freedom in many societies, most societies (including Anglo-Saxon ones) are for the most part puritanical. We can issue a one off spell to remove many damaging aspects of your socialisation. For more information, please use the following link to ask more questions: Debrief blaster

Until later,

Theo

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May Address

Hello!

I recently went on an expedition to obtain a certain occult knowledge that only seems to be associated with Blackpool.

While I was there I chanced upon engravings on an outside wall of the town hall, which inspire for the most part. One might witness a striking tusked demon with his elfish horn ears, tangential to a pair of Lancashire roses – symbols abound!

He shares so much in common with the Green Man. He is not, however, one of his kindred. His seaweed facial hair and his cockleshell frontal lobe are reminiscent of Aquarius. His shell-like beard is, again, another reminder of the deep. This, my friends, is Poseidon, the Great God of Oceans Deep.

Blackpool has an ancient occult connection with Poseidon. It was knowledge of this union that I sought on my visit there. I encountered the correct merchant of the Temple. He bestowed the rites to convene with the Aqueous One. I employed the Pictish scroll, as the ancient ones did, and harnessed forces to use for the benefit of fellow Hexers. I have stored sufficient magical essence for seven of the most potent spells. Please place your curse now for consideration. My preference would be to curse someone or determine whether I was cursed myself.

Until later,

Theo

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